I haven’t always liked Chelsea Handler. Her brash and irreverent style sometimes crossed lines that were very uncomfortable for me.

My opinion of her started to change about six years ago when Architectural Digest featured her and her home in an episode of Open Door, their YouTube show. For the first time I got to see her unscripted and off-stage.

I found myself aligned with her life choices and the rationale that supported them. Something about her unabashed attitude toward her life and vices got to me.

Her bedroom suite screams GOALS to me. Also, I am a sucker for anyone who shares their bed with their dogs. She is this week’s Single Icon.

There’s no education like real life. In this fascinating interview Dr. Nadine Macaluso combines her experience as Jordan Belfort’s (now ex) wife with her training as a therapist to shed light on how manipulative relationships develop and how to get out of them.

Her book, Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds offers expert guidance on how to become a “surthriver” of abusive relationships.

Welcome to 2026!

Ten days ago we celebrated European New Year, a time that I was conditioned to believe required a commitment to changing something about myself.

It was a reset. A new start.

But it never lasted. Eventually (usually before the end of January) I defaulted to being who I had been on December 31st.

After decades of submitting to that annual ritual of setting resolutions that were a sure set up for failure, self-loathing, and disappointment, I’ve decided to stop.

Starting over engages the myth that something is over and a new thing has begun. There is a delusion that says “I have cut off what was and am become something new”.

This implies that the ugly is supposed to cease and no longer trouble you. The lie is that you will be relieved from the challenges of confronting your imperfect self.

If we are the sum of our experiences we never escape our imperfect pasts. They are our constituent elements, as inseparable as the woven threads of a garment.

The idea that there is a hard divide between the end and the beginning, a door to close, an escape that shuts off access to something left behind, sets up a self-defeating mindset that seeks to excise or deny the ugly things when that is actually both impossible and unwise.

Without the ugly things, the beautiful becomes unremarkable.

So, instead of starting over, take stock. Embrace the lessons the imperfections have gifted you and the wisdom that has blossomed in their place.

Choose what you will grow and what you will leave to wither.

Although the ugly things will never fully leave you, they are not who you are. They are merely ingredients.

Just like sugar needs something acidic to find its fullest expression, the glorious, fully dimensional you is enhanced by the traces of the ugly things that will always add flavor to who you are.

We don’t start over. We keep going.

Traditionally. Western society has insisted that gender is not only a binary but a binary of opposites.

In this paradigm women who desire to succeed as competitors and leaders are faced with a paradox. How do they function as women when the social paradigm centers masculinity (and men) and positions gender in terms of opposites: leader/follower, provider/needy, hard/soft, dominant/submissive, competitor/prize?

Amy McPhie Allebest tackles this question and offers an alternative as she applies the principles presented in Maureen Murdock’s book The Heroine’s Journey: Women’s Quest for Wholeness to her own life.

Click the link to watch the video then let us know:

Does the heroine’s journey resonate with you? Let us know in the comments.

What inspires you to live un-partnered? We’d love to hear from you. Comment “What had happened was” below to get instructions for how to share your story.

🚔 ICE shootings escalate protests and deepen awareness around government hypocrisy, bias, and abuse of power. In Minneapolis, ICE office Jonathan Ross is identified as Renee Good’s killer. Vance blames victims. Two Venezuelan nationals are targeted and shot in Portland Oregon.

🏴‍☠️ Current administration promises to take over Greenland after kidnapping sovereign nation’s dictator and appropriating oil resources in likely violation of international law.

🏛️ House of Representatives shows signs of life and defies GOP to pass bill to extend healthcare subsidies.

Celebrating everything wonderful about being solo and satisfied.

Romance is Tyranny!