Way back in 2019 Emma Thompson “came out” as “Self-Partnered”. The concept, as she explained, went beyond being single as a transitional status and spoke to being settled in the state of being happily untethered to another person.

While she would embrace being self-partnered in partnership with another person, her contribution to promoting women choosing not to yield to the social pressures to feel they have failed if they’re not married and mothers by 30 makes Emma Thompson our single icon this week.

If you’re considering being partnered in a cis-het relationship and also want to thrive as a woman its going to take work.

My favorite quote from this video by The Financial Diet comes from the journalist and comedian, Melanie Hamlett who brilliantly describes how her own marriage is an ongoing project of “deconstructing masculinity in real time”.

The men are not the problem, per se. The problem is all of us who have been systematically programmed into the norms of service and sacrifice and selflessness that are so deeply embedded in the definition of wife and mother as a cis-het woman.

Even couples that intend equality wind up in a lopsided bargain in which the woman comes out behind.

This is exactly why I’m nearly 18 years divorced, self-partnered, and going strong. In another issue we’ll discuss why striving for equality is bound to fail. (Subscribe!)

Check out the video and share your thoughts below.

What resonates with you? Have you found a way around the cis-het marriage trap?

Live an elevated life on a single income. Explore strategies for beating the system.

It has been a good five years years since I paid off my car. My dealership has taken to sending me “hey girl” messages every few months, trying to seduce me into coming on over for a trade in and upgrade.

Take on new debt in this economy? Heck no! But, the thing is, stuff has started to crack and wear out. Just this past week I had a cracked steering column and cracked right and left control arm planetary bushing replaced.

I have no idea what that is but they said it needed fixing so I said go ahead.

Now there’s a little knot in my stomach. Replacing the bushings was almost $550.00. The steering wheel was still under warranty!!! so that repair was free. But last year I spent nearly $1000 replacing the muffler and some other stuff. Do I see a pattern?

Next year will be my car’s eleventh birthday and our tenth anniversary together. My dream is to make it to twenty and then trade in for the Rolls. At what point does a new monthly car payment make sense?

You might feel relieved to know that there is an answer! Thanks to this article you can plan exactly how long to keep your car and know when trading in is to your benefit. The verdict for me and my chariot? We still have time on our side.

What is the longest time you have owned or driven a car? When would you go for a trade in? Share your experience in the comments below.

In this section we grab some popcorn, get lost in a true-life story, then get together and yak about it.

Each month we’ll post a documentary that is available on YouTube. On the final Sunday of the month we’ll hold a gab fest to spill the tea and run our mouths about what we saw.

The gab fest is especially for paid subscribers. Join our paid community to participate.

In this month’s documentary, presented by the YouTube channel Only Human, neuro-diverse main characters Ben and Ellie go on heroic quests to find a job. Only, why should the quest be heroic?

Click the link, watch the documentary then prep your personal charcuterie board and join our virtual gathering. It’s like book club but for documentaries.

We will start the conversation with three prompts:

Paid subscribers will receive a Zoom link on the day before our party

If you’re teetering on the brink of divorce but afraid that taking the plunge will lead to sorrow and regret, let this article encourage you.

The evidence seems to show that divorce is much better for women than it is for men.In Silver-Splitters: why divorced women are so happy, the author points to none other than Melinda French Gates and Bill Gates to highlight the dichotomy.

A key point from the article: Paul Dolan, a behavioral scientist and author of the book Happy Ever After “ . . . found that unmarried and childless women are not just happier, but also more likely to live longer than their married and childbearing counterparts.”

All hail the childless cat ladies!

What inspires you to live un-partnered? We’d love to hear from you. Comment “What had happened was” below to get instructions for how to share your story.

🏆 Miss Mexico named Ms. Universe after standing up to bully. Reservations about beauty pageants notwithstanding, Fátima Bosch Fernández, the newly crowned Miss Universe, deserves recognition for refusing to allow a pageant organizer to get away with his attempt to shame her. Her assertive response to his scolding inspired other contestants to walk out. Her win demonstrates that “nasty women” do finish first.

😧 Japan’s new prime minister sleeps two hours per night. At least Sanae Takaichi, Japan’s newest and first woman prime minister, acknowledges that her schedule is “probably bad” for her skin. Concern was raised after she convened her aides at 3am to prepare for a budget meeting. Japan has a term for dying on the job from overwork (karoshi) but is any job really worth dying for?

🇺🇸 Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett offers MTG a tissue. Talk about strange bedfellows. After famously calling Representative Marjory Taylor Greene a “Bleach Blond, bad built butch body” in the House of Representatives, Representative Jasmine Crockett missed not a moment nor a beat reaching out to Greene in the wake of her infamous breakup with DJT over the undead #EpsteinFiles. “Trust me, sis,” she said, “you’re better off without him.”

🫡 Marjorie Taylor Greene Quits Congress. The Representative from Georgia says she is stepping down from elected office, a sacrifice she says was made necessary by DJT’s threats to primary her in the next election. Perhaps she isn’t better-off without him after all. MJT says her last day will be January 05, 2026.

🤦🏾‍♀️ CDC’s webpage says vaccines cause autism. Just when you thought the insanity couldn’t get worse, the CDC updates its webpage in support of the most bewilderingly persistent and profoundly dangerous conspiracy theory of the day that actually threatens the well-being of an entire generation or more of children in the United States. This irrational yearning to return to the Civil War era has got to stop.

Do you often find yourself frozen in place, watching in terror while a deadline looms and feeling bewildered by why you can’t just start?

I was having trouble getting started on this newsletter when this video from Dr. Tracey Marks came across my YouTube feed (how lucky!).

In this excellent explainer, Dr. Marks breaks down the neurological issues that inhibit motivation for people with ADHD and shares four concrete strategies to beat the inertia, feel motivated, and start.

Watch the video then swipe our free digital tool that will help you put the system into practice. Find the link below.

Celebrating everything wonderful about being solo and satisfied.

Romance is Tyranny!